Many sex addicts, who frequent massage parlors or strip clubs on a regular basis find themselves leading double lives in order to keep the sexual behavior hidden from family, friends or co-workers.
Over time it usually escalates in frequency, time and money spend, a sex addiction develops. Sex addicts often justify their behavior and the money spent with comments such as:
“At least I’m not having an affair.”
“I don’t get enough sex at home.”
“It’s just something guys do and women don’t understand.”
“This is how I blow off steam and get my needs met while staying in my relationship/marriage.”
Getting sensual massages that involve sex is the same as seeing a prostitute, you are paying for sex. Often a sex addict tries to make a distinction in his mind that there is a difference to lessen feelings of guilt and shame. Sex addicts tend to lie to themselves, their spouses and loved ones, keep secrets, and sneak around in order to engage in their sexual acting out behavior.
What hooks the sex addict are the overwhelmingly intense feelings often referred to as 'rush' or 'being in a trance' when getting ready to visit a massage parlor, strip joint or prostitute. These anticipatory feelings often end up being stronger than the feelings experienced during the actual sexual behavior.
Treatment success always depends on how motivated you are. At NYCSAT, the first step is usually to eliminate or greatly reduce the acting out behavior and then work on the underlying issues. That includes helping you get in touch with the feelings that trigger your escape into acting out and identify underlying real emotional needs. Therapy will then focus on helping you learn how to get those needs met in healthy non-sexualized and intimate ways. In addition, we will develop a personal relapse prevention plan for you, idenitfy your triggers and work on risk recognition.
To schedule a confidential consultation in person or by phone email us or call at 212.665.7352
Weekend Intensives for Addicts
Weekend Intensives for Partners
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