Compulsive Cybersex

Cybersex is often referred to as an online communication for the exclusive purpose of arousal and sex. Over the past decade due to the accessibility of the internet there has been an explosion of people getting hooked on cybersex. Compulsive Cybersex  has become a growing problem. Dr. Greenfield the author of the 1999 book, “Virtual Addiction”, reported “Overall, about 6 percent of Internet users are compulsive in their online behavior, and about half of those are sexually compulsive”. He added “Men and women engage in cybersex about equally”.

A person engaging in cybersex compulsively will spend many hours online that would otherwise be spent with their partner, family or at work. It can lead to friction with spouses,  problems in the home life and at work. 

Often the person hooked on cybersex will rationalize their behavior, by believing it isn’t really cheating. However, the person does not realize the considerable toll cybersex addiction is taken on themselves, their partner and their relationship. But let’s be honest, if you go home and tell your spouse what you have been up to online, how do you think they're going to feel about your behavior? And if you really feel there is nothing ‘wrong” with what you are doing, why are you hiding or minimizing your behavior / time spend online?

Dr. Greenfield’s study also revealed that  about 50 percent of people engaging in cybersex take the contact a step further by talking on the phone, and some--between 15 and 30 percent--meet up in person.

Study on difficulties in forming intimate realationships among cybersex users


Treatment for cybersex includes breaking the dependency on pornography and cybersex.  You should consider getting Internet blocking software for your computer, phone and ipad and moving your computer in a public space at home. 

In addition, we recommend individual therapy with a sex  addiction specialist and possibly group therapy. There are also S-12 step programs (SRA, SA, SAA) available, which are free of charge.

The key to every successful treatment is your motivation and commitment. It will be essential to address the shame and secrecy that surrounds your compulsive cybersex. You will have to learn risk recognition, have a relapse prevention plan in place, learn to indentify your triggers and most of all uncover and address the underlying issues of your cybersex addiction.

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